Remember like a month ago when I pretended I was going to start blogging again? Ha! Well... who even knows where the last month has gone! Here is a brain dump sort of post about life right now... with bullet points. Because every brain dump is better with bullet points...
- I am continuing to feel better about life in general. I shared in that last post that things have been just plain hard so far this year. However, I have been more focused and hopeful over the past few weeks. A big part of this has come from some pretty drastic changes in my commitments outside our home. I am once again being reminded of what my primary purpose... my calling... is during this season of life and I firmly believe that it is to be a wife and mother first. And, as my lovely best friend pointed out, being a homeschool mom is a full-time commitment already. I could write a LOT about my struggles and thoughts during this process of being pulled back onto a more narrow path, but I will just focus on moving forward instead. Maybe I will share more later (that maybe seems to be a theme for me, but I feel like I am still too vulnerable to share what I am learning in the moment...)
- Today I turned in our paperwork to make our homeschool official. In Nebraska we have what is called and "exempt school" and have to have a name for our school. After much thought... propbably TOO much because choosing names for anything is hard! Ha!... we named ours Cornerstone Lutheran Academy.
- On a related note, I have decided that I definitely prefer a year-round homeschool schedule. So, our official 2016-17 school year will start on Monday. I like being able to take breaks as needed, so starting early works in our favor there.
- At the start of July we were able to visit Missouri for a few days. It was a wonderful trip in many ways... even if it went too fast and the weather didn't cooperate for much. We had a good visit with Matt's parents and brother, and got to meet my best friend's darling little Livy! There is just never enough time to do everything we want to do while we are there!!
- I finally found my fitbit again... woohoo! I desperately need some kind of motivation to get more active again, and this is hopefully going to help. I feel like the more I got weighed down by the worries and stress over the first half of this year the less I moved. It was like there was a literal weight pinning me down physically along with the mental exhaustion. So I am more than starting from scratch here. Like... I would say I am in the absolute worst shape of my life right now. Ugh.
- I am still struggling to find inspiration or any kind of creative energy. I know that it really helps my overall mood to have some sort of creative outlet, but I can't seem to find the spark to make it happen.
- I can't believe summer is almost over. There is a part of me that is sad about that, but I think I am leaning more toward being ready for fall. Or maybe I am still just waiting for that one thing that is going to make me really feel normal again... and hoping a season change will do the trick.
- Clearly, reading back through this, I am far from bright and bubbly still, ha! I continue to pray that over time God will restore my soul, but I also trust that this crazy extended time of struggle is for good in some way. I love when I can look back and see how God has been at work, and I am sure that will happen again at some point. For now I just continue moving forward in faith.