Motherhood in the Trenches
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Motherhood in the Trenches

Today is one of those days when I am overwhelmed at the perfect way God provides for my spiritual and emotional growth. When there is so much to work on, it is easy to fall behind in certain areas of life... like my attitude. I am trying so hard to get healthy, be a good mom, serve God, make new friends, etc. Yet in the midst of all these good efforts, an old foe crept in... a bad attitude. It started with a funk, grew to the grumps, and by this morning as I sat down for quiet time and the only thing I could pray for was an attitude adjustment.

It is easy for me to overwhelm myself. I want to be everything to everyone, and I tend to try to do it all on my own. Not only does this not really work, but it always ends with me being less than lovely to be around. Okay, I turn into a major crankster. And my poor husband gets the brunt of it. How that man puts up with me I will never know, but that is another topic...

So anyways, I sat down this morning and opened a tiny little book, titled "Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches" that packs a bigger punch than books ten times its size. Every time I open it, I am amazed at how God knew exactly what I needed at this very time in my life... a big fat attitude adjustment. One that was delivered in a little brown amazon box from a friend who had no idea I was so desperately struggling. Mainly because I had no idea I was so desperately struggling. Because these things don't happen overnight. They are the result of too many days and weeks of ignoring tiny nudges and little signs. Unfortunately, I often do this until the only option God has left is to knock me over the head in a way I can't ignore.

So, I sit here this morning, humbled by the realization that in the midst of so many good efforts I have yet again failed at something so important... accepting grace and direction from my Heavenly Father. I once again got wrapped up in my own agenda, and stopped really listening to His. The things I have been focusing on are all worthy goals, but I am being reminded that I don't need to try so hard, and I definitely don't need to do it alone. God wants me to be healthy, a good mother, a servant, a friend, etc... BUT He doesn't require anything from me but a heart that loves Him and accepts His mercy and grace. Everything else will follow when I take the time to align my expectations with His. I wonder if I will ever truly learn this lesson well enough that I stop running off on my own path?

So, today I once again start fresh. There is nothing more beautiful than this truth. God provides us with unending blank slates... and I have definitely used my fair share over time. I need to take a deep breath and look at things one step at a time, turning all of my efforts over to the Lord and allowing Him to direct my paths. I hear the whisper now that I have been forced to stop and listen... "Slow down, let Me help... My grace is sufficient for you, and I have a plan..." Thanks be to God!
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:11-13

2 comments

  1. This is beautiful, Branson. I think so many of us moms struggle with this more often than not. I know there are times in my life when I have to start over fresh daily! Thanks for sharing these resonating words.

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  2. Great thoughts and I know so many people need to remember those same things. I REALLY need to remember that it doesn't matter what other people think of me, its more about what He thinks of me and he loves me even if I do nothing. I feel like I am often devalued and unheard. Ugh! That hurts just typing it, but I'm not those things I am more. Oh I could flippin' write a book and this would go on forever! lol

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