When Aiden was an infant, I used to write him a letter each month. I would record milestones and funny things he had done, and just share my heart with the sweet little boy who had changed my life in such a big way. Of course as I wrote these letters I was thinking ahead to the young man he will someday be, instead of only the tiny person he was at the time. I wrote them for him, but I also wrote them for me... so that I could remember some of the little things that I would too soon forget. I needed the reminder to slow down long enough to really see what gets missed in the chaos of life with a small child. I wanted him to be able to read back through them someday and know how treasured he has always been. Those letters were about both the present and the future. They are little glimpses of a life that moves faster than I would like, and an attempt to hold on for a little while longer.
When I started Bible journaling, I did so primarily for me. I think best by writing things out usually, and I wanted to be able to look back and see how God had been at work in my life. However, there came a point when I started writing not just for myself but also for my future daughter-in-law. Now I know there is no guarantee that Aiden will marry. And even if he does there is no guarantee he will have children or live a life anything like the one I live now. Yet I pray as I record my own journey that someday there will be a young woman for me to pass these journals on to. A woman who is just starting her journey as a wife and mother who can learn from what God has taught me.
The more I find myself learning about living life by seasons, the more I am aware of the fact that someday I will be that Titus 2 woman being given the responsibility of training up the next generation. I struggle with finding a mentor of my own, and so maybe I think more about being one for someone else someday than I normally would. No matter the reason, it is a thought that is always kind of there in the back of my mind as I study and learn. I do these things for the now - so that I can be the wife and mother that God wants me to be in this season - as well as for the future.
As I focus specifically on my prayer journey, I am starting to see how all of this is woven together. I see that my prayers for my child today can also be recorded as a legacy for his future. Whether it is to remind him of how God has always held him close through his earthly parents, or to encourage him in his own parenting... I want to start recording some of those prayers. The memories I record are treasures indeed, but knowing that God has been at work throughout Aiden's childhood is also a precious gift.
I recently came to possess my Grandma's copy of Psalms | Now, and every night as I hold it and read from it I can picture her praying in her room. I wish that I had thought to learn more about faith from her while she was still here to teach me. I adore this priceless link to her faith, but I wish there was a way to know more about how she grew into the most loving, faithful and amazing woman I have ever known. I can only pray that God will continue to work in my life to help me become a woman like that. If I can leave behind something of my journey... even if it is only for one young woman who craves guidance... it will be an honor to do so.
Over these past few years I have prayed for a mentor of my own. I have found encouragement and inspiration in the words of some amazing women along the way, even if it wasn't in that face-to-face way I crave. I know that one thing I have learned over and over again in this journey is that God always hears and always answers the prayers of His children. I know that there is a reason He is choosing to answer this prayer of mine differently than I had hoped, and I look forward to the day when I can see a glimpse of the "why" when the work is done. Until then, I will continue to pray and trust. This is most definitely a main theme of my prayer journey in this season.
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